Is it me? Or my horse?
I haven't properly ridden a horse for over a year. Various reasons have kept me out of the saddle...being pregnant and the fact I couldn't even walk after giving birth, let alone sit on a very wide cob! Nerves have also kept me out of the saddle. I pretended for a long time that I hadn't recovered from labour to ride, but in reality, I was ready to ride when Bear was 8 weeks old.
Not riding for over a year has given me ample opportunity to contemplate things. My biggest subject of contemplation would be my nerves. I let them hold me back for such a long time. They stopped me from competing; they stopped me from riding entirely. When I was riding, my nerves made me hate it. I stopped enjoying the thing that used to make me so happy.
As I get ready to bring Lady in from the field, I'm also contemplating how suddenly, my dreams and goals I want to achieve with her, seem bigger than the fear of riding. I have no doubt that when it comes to me actually swinging my leg over the saddle, I'll be shaking. But I'm hopeful that my desire to achieve will override the fact that my nerves will no doubt be making me vomit over the side of my poor horse.
I also have no doubt that it will not be plain sailing. I know that together Lady and I will have good days and bad days. But what I'm determined to avoid, is my nerves and fear turning into anger directed at Lady when something doesn't go quite right.
I know that every good rider knows to treat every horse they ride with respect, care and love. But I also know that strong emotions can make us act rashly. Frustration during a particularly bad ride can make us act in ways we later regret. A hard kick whilst wearing spurs when our horse falls out of canter once again...a yank on the reins when they just won't "tuck their heads in". When your teammate is a sentient being with a mind of it's own that seems to be working against you, it can be difficult to keep emotions in check. I'm not saying anyone is a cruel rider, I certainly don't think I'm abusive when I ride. However, I do think that everyone is guilty of making mistakes and admitting that you could benefit from a new approach is the first step.
Before my journey back to ridden work with Lady begins, I've been musing over the ways I can make changes to my attitude towards "bad rides". What if we all took a second to breathe and calm down before taking out the anger caused by our own mistakes on our horses?
What if, before we react to something going wrong, we ask ourselves, why did it go wrong? Did I not communicate clearly with my horse? Did I ask them to do something they're just not capable of? For example, Lady is still quite young and was backed late, meaning she could benefit from strengthening exercises as well as more schooling. Can I be cross at her for falling back into trot when I ask her to canter a circle? Or do I need to take a second to think about what I could change about my approach? Should I work on some strengthening exercises with her that will improve her balance and core strength first before asking her to complete an exercise of which she is not yet capable of completing?
What do you think? I'd love to know your opinions. Are we, as riders, too quick to lay blame on our horses and act rashly towards them? Do you think there are certain instances where horses need "telling off"? Or do we, as riders, need to tell ourselves off for expecting too much of our horses?
Until next time x
